I’m behind …

Posted: 04/29/2008 in None

… so what else is new?

Yeah, it's been … well, far too long. Life has changed much. It seems to be an unchanging reality. This has been pointed pointed out before on this blog.

But, that's not to say it's been a bad thing, this constant change. After having dealt with much bullshit over some years, it seems things are finally leveling itself out.

The last year has been … interesting. I've seen some up's, some down's' as anyone would. But the timing has been something that blows my mind.

I once sat down to a dinner with a lady friend who, I must say, is nothing short of remarkable. To say that I didn't hope something were to have happened between us would be to lie.

She is smart. She is beautiful. She is amazing.

As per the usual, we enjoyed our regular stream of conversation. Somehow we found ourselves talking about our dating desires.

For the record, gents … Don't do this. It is a bad idea. A bad, bad idea …

Out of nowhere, she said "it's interesting, this timing", and stopped. She wouldn't elaborate what she meant by it, and quickly changed the subject.

That statement stuck with me. I couldn't help but wonder what she meant, what was going through her mind that very moment that would have lead to just what she said.

Tonight, I had a chat with a dear friend of mine. We were talking about my decisions in recent years … when I found myself saying "it's interesting, this timing".

Suddenly, it became clear to me the thought process my lady had at that moment …

Going over my decisions, I couldn't help but think about what things could have been had the timing of events been different.

If I didn't move for school, would I have learned so much of myself?

If I hadn't taken that job that I did, would I have learned so much about poor management?

If I chose to hop in that car, would I be alive today?

So many scenarios … So much that could have been … All those "what if … ?" questions …

… none of which I have answers for.

Every day we are faced with decisions that little by little, slowly day by day, define is all.

Perhaps I would not be as independent as I am today if I didn't move away.

Perhaps I could have continued to stick with the status quo, stick with that company … only to never grow and remain miserable.

Perhaps I wouldn't have missed the boat with my lady friend … and I'd be the envy of most any guy that knows me.

Questions, I have. Answers, I have not. Such is life.

… it's interesting, this timing …

… sent via my Crack'Berry device.


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