Posted: 06/07/2005 in None

“I Told You So”

… Don’t like hearing it, do you? Can’t blame you. No one likes it. And yet, far too often, I’m often stuck in that position of saying it …

… And contrary to what some would like to believe, I don’t like having to say it. I don’t get any satisfaction out of saying it. I don’t crave credit of being right. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

I hate having to say it because it means that I’ve failed you. Why can’t you see that? Is it that difficult to comprehend?

So I posed the question to some of you: Why is it that I’m always stuck in that position of saying “I told you so”?

The responses I got were varying. One person claimed that I’m simply too much of a thorough thinker … that I don’t leave anything to chance.

… another claimed that I have the uncanny ability to look at scenarios from an entirely unique perspective … often catching people off-guard with what is seemingly illogical.

… and another said that knowing what I’ve been through allows me to draw my life experiences to better see options …

The most intriguing response may be that of one whom said that I tend to be surrounded by people asking, not for advice, but rather for support and/or approval of their own opinion or choice.

And hence my dilemma …

This subject strikes a core on different levels; but all of which deep and painful. Bluntly put, I’ve suffered from the loss of several relationships due to this kind of problem. Perhaps I’m just a horrible person whom lacks the fundamental skills to relate to others.

If asked for my opinion, what am I to say?

Do I say what you want to hear? What kind of friend would I be if I just went along with it, when I don’t see things that way?

Do I tell you honestly and truthfully what I think? Can you handle the truth? Are you even willing to listen?

In my mind, in being a good friend, I can’t just sit idly by and say nothing.

In my mind, in being a good friend, I won’t lie. Period.

In my mind, in being a good friend, I’m obligated to tell the truth – even if it’s not what you want to hear. But, I know it’ll be met with hostility.

I was handcuffed by what I was able to say, and so I lost a very dear friend over this.

What am I to say? So I do what I think is right, in telling you what I think; only for you to disagree. Fine. I have no problem with that.

You’re free to live as you please. But, you brought upon this conversation. You present your reasoning and I present mine. When I present my logic (or sometimes when my logic presents itself after the fact), you feel stupid. And it’s my fault. Why?

One can easily argue that if you see the validity in my logic, it surely means it outweighs yours. So if you feel stupid, why blame me for your own stupidity? However, why not just consider it, and weigh out what works best for you? Or better yet write it off as a learning experience altogether and be done with it?

I lost a lady very dear to me because I “made her feel stupid all the time”.

Now, if I were to take the other route and say nothing … just leave you to be to live life (not like I’m not doing that as it is) … What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t forewarn you of pitfalls and troubles ahead? What if I “didn’t care”?

I lost another dear friend over this, when he just stopped caring. One of his greatest traits was that he cared. And when I lost that in him, things weren’t the same.

I could never live with myself if I didn’t care about you.

Now you tell me … What am I to do?

Quotes Of Note

“… yeah … I think of her all the time. I simply can’t get her out of my mind.”


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