Posted: 04/16/2005 in None

Why Bother … ?

Yes, Dean-O“because she’s hot!”. That, my friend, she is, indeed. But this isn’t about her

The question is “Why Bother?” … I want to know why …

Why bother …

… ask for someone’s opinion when you it doesn’t matter what they say?

… ask for someone’s opinion when you really don’t care for what they have to say?

… deny something that you are?

… make excuses for yourself?

… make excuses for someone else?

… defend someone unworthy of your effort?

… pretend to be something you are not?

… be stubborn and not accept the hand you’ve been dealt?

… put effort in someone whom doesn’t see your worth?

I know it sounds crazy, this coming from a guy that seemingly has an opinion about everything … but sometimes I am at a complete loss for words. I just don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what I can say.

I know that my views and opinions are extreme. In fact, I would even go out on a limb to say that most people couldn’t take what I could have to say. Over the years, I’ve been burned by having been too honest. So now, I hold my tongue. And yet, what I do say can create so much damage. Just imagine if I were to say what was on my mind …

No, it wouldn’t be pretty at all …

Lately, I’ve been feeling really restless. I need a form of release and I have none. The stress level is building up, and I have nothing that really relaxes me. I have not someone to call my own. I don’t eat anymore. I don’t booze anymore. I don’t play sports anymore.

Recently, I’m finding I’m losing patience with some people I know. This is a shame, as these are people I hold dear; people I would like to take comfort in during times of need. It just doesn’t seem like they understand, or care to see from another’s perspective.

I know I haven’t been a very good friend to some. In retrospect, I’ve been tending to my own needs these last 5 years. Gone is that Warz of old. I don’t have the infinite patience anymore. I’m not willing to bend over backwards and be taken advantage of like I once did.

I’ve had it with being that “perfect friend”. It goes with hardly any recognition and often got me nowhere but in trouble, in debt, in heartache for something, someone entirely not worth the while.

Am I bitter? Fuck, yes!

… and I don’t even know why. How sad is that?

… & write back @ ya’!

Wingman, Wingman, Wingman … : I have nothing to say to that but … {drool drool … drool} …

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