Posted: 01/09/2005 in None

User = Id10T

Why, yes … yes, I am. I mis-read my itinerary thinking I land on the 10th, when in fact I leave on the 10th. Damn curse of the red-eye, I tells ya. Oddly enough though, you’d think now that I’ve ‘bought’ myself a an extra day that I get to relax a bit … Not the case. There always work to do.

Responsibilities aside, having been home is great. I enjoy seeing my friends. We’ve shared some great laughs and I’ve met some cool people. It’s always a shame that I must leave. I realize I’ll have another round of this when I relocate and leave TO. I have great friends everywhere, a point for which I can so thankful for.

I’ve found that every homecoming has been somewhat bittersweet. I’ve mentioned before that life has its fair share of ever-changing friendship dynamics, but this trip home, it has really sunk in. I was disappointed to not have heard from some people whom I’ve contacted. I was disappointed to have heard of from certain people whom I didn’t contact. I suppose I can’t really blame anyone, as since I know that I was so busy myself that I could make time to see so many friends. But most disappointing of all, has been hearing of the fallings out of certain other people. *sigh* Such is life …

Of course, sometimes that leads to some issues of unfinished business … I honestly wish I had more time to tend to, repair, and/or create new relationships. Those whom know me well, know that I’m forever plagued with the “What If … ?” syndrome. I’ve noticed that every time I come home, I do have the odd dream of people from my past and certain people of the present. It’s certainly more apparent when I’m home.

What should I say? … How do I say it? … What if I said ‘this’? … What if I said ‘that’? … What if I said nothing at all? … I guess one’ll never know. We simply don’t have that luxury of a second, third, fourth chance.

And if actions do speak louder than words, a wrong action would undoubtedly warranty an even greater reaction. Perhaps I should have done ‘this’ instead of having done ‘that’ … ? Maybe I should have done something, when I didn’t do anything at all … ? One will never know.

We all live with the decisions we make, but can one really live down the decisions we don’t make?

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