Many of you have expressed concern after my last posting. For that, I am humbled and thankful for my good friends’ regard. This last weekend has been a bit of a blur. Many things happened – some good, some bad. But the bad outweighed the good, by far.
I regret to inform you that a dear friend of mine has lost a loved one. In my memory, I’ve never had a close friend lose a loved one. This may be a first for me. Frankly, I know not what to do. Logically, I know that there isn’t much I can do other than offer a shoulder to cry on, and make the little things seem inconsequential. As much as I want to be there for my friend, there is only so little I can do.
When the news came, I was with another good friend of ours – one whom had just recently found out about a health concern of her mother’s. Later on in the day, she wept. The thought of losing a loved one is horrible enough, but the thought of losing one’s parent(s) is a whole other story. Late that night, my emotions got the better of me, and I could not hold back the tears. And it’s at this point is where I start to feel like I’m being horribly selfish.
While it is a time of grievance for a close friend of mine, I could not help but worry for my own sake. I feel horrible about it. At a time like this, how could I be so selfish and think of my own worries? I sat there for some hours, reflecting on how – for a short period of time – I thought I had lost my father … I thought about my mother’s health concerns … I worried about me, and how I would face such an ordeal.
It made me sick to my stomach that I was thinking of myself at a time like this …