Archive for September, 2004

Posted: 09/30/2004 in None

Many of you have expressed concern after my last posting. For that, I am humbled and thankful for my good friends’ regard. This last weekend has been a bit of a blur. Many things happened – some good, some bad. But the bad outweighed the good, by far.

I regret to inform you that a dear friend of mine has lost a loved one. In my memory, I’ve never had a close friend lose a loved one. This may be a first for me. Frankly, I know not what to do. Logically, I know that there isn’t much I can do other than offer a shoulder to cry on, and make the little things seem inconsequential. As much as I want to be there for my friend, there is only so little I can do.

When the news came, I was with another good friend of ours – one whom had just recently found out about a health concern of her mother’s. Later on in the day, she wept. The thought of losing a loved one is horrible enough, but the thought of losing one’s parent(s) is a whole other story. Late that night, my emotions got the better of me, and I could not hold back the tears. And it’s at this point is where I start to feel like I’m being horribly selfish.

While it is a time of grievance for a close friend of mine, I could not help but worry for my own sake. I feel horrible about it. At a time like this, how could I be so selfish and think of my own worries? I sat there for some hours, reflecting on how – for a short period of time – I thought I had lost my father … I thought about my mother’s health concerns … I worried about me, and how I would face such an ordeal.

It made me sick to my stomach that I was thinking of myself at a time like this …


Posted: 09/24/2004 in None

Today is a very sad day that has casted a somber mood on many of those around me. I have nothing further to say at the moment.

Posted: 09/22/2004 in None

*sigh* … if only she’d understand … *oi yoi yoi*

Posted: 09/21/2004 in None

WTF!, Mate?

Alright … this has been bugging me all day like sand in speedos …

How do you just up and start anew a friendship with a bit of a sorted past?

Today, I popped by the field to see some of the ruggers left on the team – I’ve volunteered to help coach some. While at the school, I ran into someone. At first there was the initial awkwardness, but soon it was a pretty casual conversation.

… then … “Um, I was thinking … maybe we can start over … ? … Hi, nice to meet you, I’m (shall remain nameless),”

Of course, me being the idiot that I am … I more or less agreed to it. But now, some hours later, I’m sitting here thinking how could I possibly just forget everything that happened and just start fresh?

… fuck …

Posted: 09/21/2004 in None

Bimmer Boy sent me this:

A Real Friend

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you HAVE an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

If any of you people out there have a friend in mind that fits this criteria … be thankful. In fact, call your friend out, if just to give him or her a hug. Those types … those true friends … are hard to find.

I miss my friends back home …

Posted: 09/20/2004 in None

I’m watching Kira sleep on the couch right now. She’s so cute. She’s an absolutely gorgeous dog. She’s taken a liking to sleeping on the couch ever since our trip out west. I suppose it’s not the greatest habit to let her get into, but it’s tough to stop her now. We don’t want to crate her up all night.

We could continue to allow her to sleep under Baby-J‘s bed, but by the middle of the night, she’ll want out of the room. I don’t mind letting her sleep with me on my bed even, but she seems to pass gas with every other breath. Despite what many of you think, I *do* need *some* sleep. Anyhow …

It’s 4 AM. I can’t sleep. I haven’t even yawned yet. For the most part of this night, I’ve been chatting with friends. There was the idle chit-chat with Pac-Man and Jack-E. I was able to catch up a little bit with Jeffy and Cutie (who’s now moving out here!).

Lately, I’ve been chatting with Dalo‘s cousin, ‘Tel. We’d met some years ago and continually ran into each other at various events and functions. We had always been chatty every time we saw each other, but it was only after D&G‘s wedding did we stay in contact. It’s nice to have met and gained a new friend. Thank goodness for modern technology.

I’m currently chatting with Renka about our respective troubles. In our conversations, some ‘truths’ were unearthed in the hopes that they might be beneficial for each other. We’ve been rather frank with each other about our views on each other’s problems.

Renka‘s not just my eating buddy. In the short time we’ve been hanging out together, we’ve actually become pretty good friends. Contrary to popular belief, there is time to converse between stuffing my face course by course. We’ve come to know each other rather well. She’s an incredible young woman.

You ever get that feeling where you’re on the outside of the problem looking in … and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it? Yeah? Well, welcome to my world. Lately, I’ve somehow managed to dig up old stories of my past. It shows a long history of conflict that I inadvertently bring upon others.

Problem is, is order to avoid these conflicts, I’d have to be someone that is so far removed from me. What am I to do about that?

… & write back @ ya’!

Ghis once : I couldn’t have said it any better myself. And that is just what I miss so dearly. One must wait, I suppose. In the meantime, it has been great just meeting people.

Oh, there’s a small chance Kira might be swinging into town with me in October. If that happens, we’ll have to have you and Solly meet her!

and Ghis once more : Well, I did find that article on the CBC website. They’ve always been a rather credible news source.

Besides, it *was* posted on the internet … so it *must* be true!

Posted: 09/18/2004 in None

:-O … oh, the pain!