So after the trip down to the garage yesterday, Jovo and I sat down to an early dinner. We downed a pint, and enjoyed a good chat. When Ah-Mun came home from having drinks with colleagues after work, we took Kira out to my alma mater for a run-about. Otherwise, I stayed home for the rest of the night.
While at the garage, one of the managers asked me how a certain someone was doing. I often recommend my friends and associates to this garage. This is not just because a close family friend is involved with the business, but it’s due to the fact they do good work. To have grown from a small little garage to a chain of 4 garages spread all of the city in a little over 10 years says a lot about their work.
Anyhow, this certain someone happened to be my ex’s older sister. I had once sent her down to the garage to have some work done on her car, as I did my ex and their mom. The manager was curious as to how they were all doing. I admit, I was taken aback at first. I didn’t really know how to respond at first. I took a moment to think about it, then simply told her that I hadn’t spoken to the family at all in months as a results of the break-up.
That question became a thorn in my side for the remainder of the day. I tried to wrestle with the logic involved. I’ve known that some people not in the know have asked me how my ex was doing, only for me to explain that we’d split up. That doesn’t bother me so much. But I must now admit, that it does bother me to know that we have some mutual friends that have kept in touch with her.
And I don’t feel badly about it either. I suppose it’s natural. Ask yourself, if someone had wronged you the way she did me, you wouldn’t like that your friends have chosen to keep in touch with said person, would you? In my position, I can’t ask any of my friends of anything. I can’t blame them either, seeing as most of them don’t know what happened. However, I suppose it’s the inner-child in me that wants to just say, “I’m taking my friends and going home“.
The majority of her circle of friends were my friends to begin with. I feel like an ass for saying it, but I honestly think it’s true. I brought her into my group of friends. She was never a terribly social person either. Sometimes I find myself being selfish and even thinking to myself that those not taking a stand, and choosing a side are cowards.
If there is truth to that, then I’m a hypocrite. I’ve have kept in space contact with some of my friends’ exes. However, in my defense, I’ve always been very clear where I stood on the issues. And I beg to say that, with but one (and only one) exception, I hadn’t seen any of my friends go through what my ex put me through. I can’t imagine how anyone cold find me at fault. If there is anyone out there that would say I’m at fault, you can fuck off.
Great … now I feel all shitty … Boo on me. I did have a nice talk with Huggy Bear at an insane hour. That did a little to cheer me up. Maybe I need to go for a drive. I love driving in the rain …