Posted: 06/20/2004 in None

No More Mr. Nice Guy … ?

Let me first start off this post by welcoming four new associates to my so-called webring; Dalo, Ghis, JB, and his lovely wife, Shar. Dalo really needs no introduction. Ghis is an associate I met some years ago, who later became the wife of Willie (a good buddy of mine from high school). JB was the head boy of my grad class, a true gentleman, and an incredible guy. Shar is JB‘s wife and a good friend of an old childhood friend of mine.

So my day started off innocently enough. I woke up by early-mid-morning and started getting some stuff done. Dalo gave me a call and asked for a ride over to work out and bum out at my place as Gracey was off to her dance lesson and practice. By mid-day, we had picked up Pac-Man and ran out for some ramen for lunch.

Afterward, we met up with Renka to watch “Super Size Me“. This was a movie documentary that was supposed to leave you never wanting to eat fast food again. However, by the end of the movie, I felt almost disappointed with the flick. Perhaps, I was expecting more.

“He became violently ill after the first week of his all-McDonald’s diet.”.

“He was about to die near the end of the 30 days …”.

By the end of it, the guy did look noticeably less healthy. He gained weight. His blood tests showed much damage to his organs. His sex life suffered. But, it didn’t seem as grave as I thought it would have been. It was a clever flick. Frankly, I’m surprised he even got away with it seeing as he was placing the focus squarely on the company of golden arches. It almost makes me wonder if the company *knew* about it … and even let it happen. As they say, “bad publicity is still publicity”.

In any case, it still begs the question whether or not I’d eat fast food still. The answer – sure, why not? But, I must say, I’ll be having it a lot less from this point forward. It’s been no secret I’ve been battling the bulge ever since I can remember. My problem is a metabolism that envies the rate of evolution, and my one true vice – food. Let’s be honest here. You all know I love food. Even if it’s not the healthiest, I still indulge every now and then. *Oi* …. time to smarten up.

Anyhow, over dinner,Gracey made a comment to me. “You just can’t say no, can you?” This has become a recurring theme amongst my friends. Admittedly, I’ve been thinking about that as of late. Do I give too much of myself? Do I really have a problem saying ‘no’ to people?

My mind was racked for a while. Sometimes I don’t really notice it until people are trying to get my attention. It’s like I’ve become a space cadet. I could be just walking along, and these thoughts just pop into my head. I’d think nothing of it until someone is waving at me saying “Hey, Warz! … hello? … are you okay?”.

I didn’t know what to think. What do you use to judge “how much” is “too much”? I didn’t know. So, in regrouping my thoughts, I brought it back to the beginning. When asked for help by a friend, do I have troubles saying ‘no’ when I don’t want to help? I thought back to the last time I encountered this situation … but I couldn’t remember the last time. I thought back to the last time I said ‘no’ to someone … but I couldn’t remember the last time.

Then, the thought occurred to me. I don’t want to say ‘no’. I’ve never wanted to say ‘no’. When asked for help, my first inclination is not to say ‘no’. It’s not even to want to say ‘no’. My first thought is of what/how I can help. At times, I’ve been forced to say ‘no’ as I was unable to help. But even at that, I’d still try to find as many options for you as I can. Perhaps, I just want to be there to help my friends.

I bounced this thought to Baby-J tonight. She’s one person that knows me just as well as anyone can know me. She agreed that it’s not a matter of an inability to say ‘no’, but rather, my intense desire to say ‘yes’. I think it’s in the way I was raised by my folks. I saw it in my folks as far back as I can remember. You’ll see it in my siblings. If there is any way at all I can help, you can consider it done.

I never thought being so *nice* could have it’s drawbacks. I’ve always been forgiving and always giving the benefit of the doubt to others (far too much and far too often, according to Baby-J). I’ve been wary of those that take advantage of me. I’d like to think I’ve got a pretty good judge of character and have weeded out the good from the bad. However, my willingness to help others have pretty much cost me a relationship to which I was extremely dedicated to. It was that person whom took advantage of me the most. In the end, she got everything she wanted, and I got nothing but heartache.

So now, the big question really is, am I simply too nice?

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