Posted: 05/29/2004 in None

So you might be looking for the next installment of the story, but you’re not going to find it here. I’ve decided not to bother. Too much happening to bother to document everything. Let’s just say, we’re having a blast doing what we do best.

I know I’ve said this time and time again, but it’s incredibly true. I have been blessed with amazing friends. I look back at my circle(s) of friends and I look at how many of my friends are now good friends with people I’ve introduced them to. I’m not looking for credit, but frankly, I do pride myself on having creating new friendships.

Moreover, sometimes it astonishes me how well my friends gets along. A prime example is of Wingman‘s visit this week. I intro him to Pac-Man and they hang when I’m not available. They make plans, *then* they inform me of what’s happening. It’s cool.

Since moving out here, I’ve found life to be a bit of a drag until now. I think the reason is two-fold. On one hand, the weather’s been nice and I’ve been able to get outside – something I’ve always loved to do. Be it sitting on a patio with friends, or just bumming in a park, I love being outside.

On the other hand, now that school is seemingly done for me, I’ve had time to socialize with people. Suddenly, I’m out and about meeting new friends and having a blast. Not that I was complaining as per my social life before, but now it’s been taken up a notch.

I had Gracey staying with me this last little bit. She’s awesome. She’s going to make Dalo one heck of a wife. She and I sit and talk a lot. We’ve known each other for years (going on … 7-8 years now) but only this last year or so have we really gotten to know each other. We relate to our experiences in having moved out east. We’ve found that we shared the same feelings, problems, angst, etc. in our new found homes. It goes to show you that one is never truly alone. There are others out there just like you, with the same problems as you, with the same worries as you ..

Lastly, I must say that having Wingman out here this last little while has been absolutely invaluable; particularly on two fronts. The first, being that I miss the guy. He’s one of my best friends, and hanging out with him has been incredible.

I want to be able to share my life and experiences here with my friends back home, but technology can only do so much. Having had him out here, meeting my friends, making the rounds, catching up with people … it’s been a wicked ride.

Secondly, it’s been therapeutic. His presence, willingness to talk (and give straight answers/opinions) has helped me sort some things out in myself.

For example, I think I’ve finally come to terms – publicly, at least – with my failed relationship with my ex. Seemingly, there were people in the know, but there were also some of those whom I held near and dear that I did not, and could not, tell the whole story. Part of it was pride, and part of it was fear. Either way, it was something that I needed to go through, and perhaps Wingman saw me through to that last step.

Likewise, just talking to him helped me see things more clearly regarding other situations in my life. This lady I’ve posted about in the past is yet another example. I was relatively open about this person (excluding names) with a new acquaintance. My explanation of why things didn’t/wouldn’t work out was that “we were are at different stages in our lives”.

This was not entirely accurate. I did elude to how I felt she is “not interested” because she’s simply “out of my league”. Truth is, it has everything to do with my own insecurities.

She is everything I want in a woman. She is also everything any man wants. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is a sweetheart. She has her pick of men. Given that fact alone, nothing will ever work out in the long-run.

Over the years, I’ve come to talk a big storm of how I view mankind as species not naturally monogamous. However, I’ve found that I much rather be in a monogamous relationship. The relationship seems to give me reason to get up in the morning … reason to live. I seem to want to function as a part of a couple.

My problem is that I fear she will eventually want to trade-up. I seem to know this because I’ve been burned before – forget fresh, the wounds are still gushing. I don’t get any sense of security or any indication of what she wants. She may seem to indulge in me, but she’s simply unavailable … simply “out of my league”.

While it’s sad to see him go, I’ll be hanging with Wingman (and his soon-to-be wife, I-V) really soon. I’m looking forward to my little trip home. It’ll be a short stay, but I assure you it’s much needed. I can’t wait to see the likes of Jovo sitting across from me over food and drink or cards and puffing a cigarillo …

Cheers, my friends …

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